Trump stumps the grumps

(Prezography photo)

(Prezography photo)

Editor’s Note: The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of The Iowa Statesman.


Krust Konservative Logo 2By Krusty Konservative
Dictator of the Iowa Blogosphere


Personally, I can’t stand Donald Trump. He engages his mouth before he thinks way too often. He thinks his [defecation] doesn’t stink. If he were at a Mensa convention, he’d still think he was the smartest guy in the room.

I do, however, respect what he has been able to do with his father’s legacy. It’s not too often that the second generation of Big Money can surpass the first. He did that, and it should be applauded.

Frankly, the “problem” — if attracting hordes of previously disaffected and disenfranchised voters was ever really a problem — the GOP has with Donald is one of its own making. Cycle after cycle, we’ve heard how the Establishment wished it could have a self-funding candidate who wasn’t beholden to Christian social ideology and had star power.

He checks off all those boxes. He’s insanely wealthy. He’s not particularly beholden to any ideology, except the one that wins. And, there are few places on Earth where they don’t know the name Trump. The real trouble for the Establishment is that Donald only plays by his rules.

And, so far, it has worked.

I say “so far” because it remains to be seen if calling Megyn Kelly a menstruating bimbo skank (even if she’s pretended to be one for GQ magazine and Howard Stern’s radio program) won’t have some downside. Conventional wisdom says it will, but as we’ve seen so many times this cycle, there’s nothing conventional about Donald’s popularity with a big chunk of the electorate.

And that’s where he’s stumping the grumps in the Establishment — and the grumps in Moral Majority. They’re all quite appalled at what they see happening right now, because it’s destroying the script for 2016. This cycle was supposed to be the final showdown between the Establishment and the Conservative/Liberty folks over the heart and soul of the GOP.

The Establishment wanted to prove it could win a General Election without the help of Christian and liberty-minded conservatives (it would have been a pyrrhic victory of short-term duration). Christian and liberty-minded conservatives wanted to prove it could put out a candidate who has mass appeal who wouldn’t sell out to the Establishment’s corporate interests.

So, along comes Donald Trump, injecting thousands of newly energized voters, and stealing a few disaffected ones from both of the factions. He’s blown up the old paradigms and created an entirely new one that doesn’t make any sense, unless you’re high on meth, or reading a Dr. Seuss book.

At some point, however, reality is going to kick all our [backsides].

The best way to deal with Donald is to weed out the lesser candidates right now. The debates last week proved there are at least seven or eight who should leave immediately, but it wouldn’t take much more vetting to see it whittled down to five.

Donald, obviously, has to be in that mix. He’s not going anywhere anytime soon. He’s the champion of the Silent Majority, and that’s just not going to change in the next few weeks.

Ted Cruz and Mike Huckabee are really the only guys who should still be in the race, trying to win over the hearts and minds of the Conservative/Liberty wing of the party.

Scott Walker and Marco Rubio are the prospective Establishment champions. In fact, that’s probably — in the addled minds of the blue haired set — a pretty good General Election pairing.

This needs to happen right away, though. Every day, we’re closer to the moment when interest in Donald becomes investment. An army of Stormtrumpers (Berkeley Breathed hit a homer with that one) would require an Establishment/Conservative/Liberty alliance to defeat.

And we all know how likely that is to happen.

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Herschel Krustofski is the pseudonym for the anonymous author of Krusty Konservative, the undisputed heavyweight champion of the Iowa blogosphere. If you have a suggestion for his contributions to The Iowa Statesman, write to him at