Krusty Konservative: Why don’t you get it yet?

obama_pointEditor’s Note: The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of The Iowa Statesman.


Krust Konservative Logo 2By Krusty Konservative
Dictator of the Iowa Blogosphere


Welcome to the latest round of “How do we distract them now?” hosted by the Divider-in-Chief and his boot lickers in the lamestream media. Their latest effort at national distraction: the systematic destruction of southern culture because, you know, it’s totally racist.

In the very narrow, yet infinitely convoluted, mind of Mr. Liberal.

So, here’s the story the lamestreamers think you’re stupid enough to consume: Dylann Roof, a dead-end, deadbeat, stoner loser who thinks he’s from 1970s South Africa, was trying to singlehandedly incite a race war. And, of course, he was going to do it by shooting up an African Methodist Episcopal church conveniently located in the birthplace of the Confederacy.

I’ll let Alex Jones and the Tin Foil Hat Brigade ruminate on those coincidences.

Obama and his lamestreamers were pretty sure you’d bite. Thanks to the Internet and stereotypes created by their accomplices (the Libtard Elite) in Hollywood, northerners and southerners don’t have a clue about each other.

Thank goodness we’ve got Lindsey Graham (there’s a reason why southern boys don’t get married) and Nimrata (oops, let that cat out of the bag) Nikki Haley to stand up for sanity … oh, never mind. They’re exactly the kind of “enlightened” RINOs who like to play the heel for offended liberals.

So, we’re playing Mouse Wants a Cookie with the Left (again), which makes Obama as giddy as a tweener at a One Direction concert. Meanwhile, we’re told we need to wring our hands collectively because Dead-End Dylann waved a (historically inaccurate) Confederate battle flag once.

The fembots at Faux News are already interviewing all the southern apologists they can find to tell us it’s just a symbol of southern culture (in states that tried to leave the U.S. because they were pissed off about “property” rights). Then they point to all of the “Clinton hypocrisy” over the Stars and Bars (while conveniently ignoring Strom Thurmond and David Duke).

Of course, they’ll roll over, too (“Unity!”) after they pretend to put up a meaningless fight, and Ronald Reagan’s call to reject the idea that every time a law is broken, society is to blame, not the lawbreaker, will be ignored. I mean, it’s not like there’s anything of importance going on right now from which we should be distracted.

Nah, couldn’t be.

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Herschel Krustofski is the pseudonym for the anonymous author of Krusty Konservative, the undisputed heavyweight champion of the Iowa blogosphere. If you have a suggestion for his contributions to The Iowa Statesman, write to him at