Please disable your Ad Blocker to better interact with this website.

The Chinese hack of the U.S. government as told by Felicity Smoak

13039510383_f865f217f3_b

By The .Gif Shop Staff

 

The Gif Shop LogoA few weeks ago, the Office of Personnel Management — the people who keep track of the employee records for all federal government employees — said it had been hacked by Chinese hackers. Initially, it said only a few hundred thousand current employees were effected; then, it upgraded that number to 4.2 million current and former employees. Now we hear it could be up to 18 million current, former, and prospective federal employees’ files that were stolen.

We’ve also learned the OPM outsourced its IT operations to a Chinese company. Congress isn’t happy, nor likely are the people whose personal information was stolen. The .Gif Shop staff mulled it over, and initially considered the 1995 flick “Hackers” that depicted the Internet as a cross between “Tron” and “Max Headroom.” Instead, they settled on a more culturally relevant source: Felicity Smoak of The CW’s “Arrow.”

•  •  •

 The Chinese who were hired to provide IT assistance to OPM probably be like …

 

 

Upon learning the federal government has spent $65 billion on technology and security upgrades — and still got hacked — U.S. cybersecurity experts be like …

 

When Congress first learned of the Chinese hack, they be like …

 

Upon learning sensitive government information was protected with “password” as an actual password, the experts be like …

 

Upon learning the Chinese hacked 14 million, not 4.2 million, personnel files, Congress be like …

 

The hackers, who told Congress in 1998 this would happen, be like …

 

And Felicity Smoak, who has watched “Hackers” hundreds of times (“Hack the planet!”), says watch this …

The .Gif Shop staff takes no responsibility for those of you who actually take the time to watch Jonny Lee Miller, Angelina Jolie, and Matthew Lillard pretend to run around the Internet (which happens to resemble a cross between “Tron” and “Max Headroom”) with laptops that have 200 MB (not GB) of RAM to defeat Fisher Stevens and Penn Jillette, who are armed with a supercomputer. If you haven’t seen it, there are at least 7 billion other people just like you on Earth — which is probably why it only grossed $7.5 million.