Krusty Konservative: Lipstick on a Pig

Krust Konservative Logo 2Editor’s Note: The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of The Iowa Statesman.


By Krusty Konservative
Dictator of the Iowa Blogosphere


Remember how candidate Joni Ernst said she wanted to go to Washington to “make ‘em squeal?” Yeah, it was the most epic campaign commercial of the 2014 election season. It also was perhaps the biggest lie of the campaign.

Because right now, she’s lined up at the trough, taking lessons from John McCain on how to take vacations around the world without spending a dime of her own money. For those who didn’t already know, she’s on a taxpayer-funded trip to Vietnam to celebrate the 20th anniversary of normalized relations with that country.

They’re also there to recognize the 40th anniversary of the end of the Vietnam War, in which 58,209 Americans were killed, 153,303 were wounded, and 2,489 were declared missing-in-action. Draft-Dodger-in-Chief Bill Clinton was responsible for normalized relations with Vietnam, and veterans were, and continue to be, deeply offended by the move.

They’re paying for this trip, too. Ernst even had the balls to send pictures back home from the trip, looking like she’s in the happiest place on Earth. Now she’s on her way to Singapore to take part in an Asia-Pacific defense policy confab put on by the International Institute for Strategic Studies and sponsored by a number of U.S. defense contractors.

Maybe when she said “squeal,” what she really meant was “squeal with delight.” Talk about putting lipstick on a pig.


Rand vs. Rand

Who’s to blame for the eventual creation of ISIS? Rand Paul this week said it was the “war hawks” in the GOP to blame. But in February, he was blaming Hillary Clinton. Last October, he was blaming the people of Iraq and Syria.

The month before that, he said he would combat ISIS, if he were President, by doing pretty much what President Obama has done. But, a couple months later, he was insisting that any action taken against ISIS without a formal declaration of war is illegal.

Now, your average Paulistinian is going tell you all of these statements are not only congruent, but correct, which only goes to prove how much of the grape-flavored Kool-Aid they’ve consumed.

•  •  •

Herschel Krustofski is the pseudonym for the anonymous author of Krusty Konservative, the undisputed heavyweight champion of the Iowa blogosphere. If you have a suggestion for his contributions to The Iowa Statesman, write to him at